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1 人回報2 個月前
英式幽默
餐厅里的投诉

Excuse me, I'm sorry to say we've had some complaints.
Well, excuse me if I have to breastfeed my child.
Oh no, it's just that the little one's blocking the view.

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  • OK, a little to the left. I want to get dad's store. Sorry, 29 years old. Still chasing Pokemon. My bad. Yeah, you're bad. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Thank you. I'm sorry to bother you. Can I see your receipt, please? Of course. Oh, thank you. Ooh, an espresso machine, huh? It's a beauty. Oh, it's lovely. All right, well, you have a great day. Thank you. All right, this was a birthday gift from my husband. It's a beautiful machine, but I think it's a little extravagant for our budget. No problem. Do you have your receipt? Yes, I do. Oh, I'm so sorry! I know I'm such an idiot. Let me just take it off. I'm gonna get some more towels. You're only making it worse. All right, I'll be right back. We'll have towels. That's not gonna work on this shade. How long is that flight? Okay, yeah, let's go ahead and book those three coach tickets. Yes, the number is 4-0-1-2, 7-4-9-6, 2-3-9-0, 5-1-8-5. Oh, the zip code is 1-7-9-0-2. Perfect. Yeah. Thank you very much. Hey, how much is it to upgrade? Yeah, let's go ahead and make it three first-class tickets. There we go. Almost good as new. Incredible. Thank you. Yeah, no problem. Here we go. I have a big meeting. Oh, good. We'll have a great one. Thank you. Sorry, yeah, so close. No worries, I think you saved it.
    1 人回報1 則回應3 年前
  • Hi guys, so just a quick update from me. For those of you who don't know me, my name's John, I'm a funeral director based in Milton Keynes. I run a funeral home called Milton Keynes Family Funeral Services, and this time it is the 6th of December 2021. So what we're seeing is a large number, an unnaturally large number of deaths due to heart attack, stroke, aneurysm, and these are all as a direct result of thrombosis, embolisms in the lungs, the legs, various places that's causing these deaths. These are well documented by the local coroners, these are well documented, you know, across the country. And now I've seen more this year than I have in the previous 14, to give you an idea. I've written to the Chief Coroner of England, he isn't concerned. I've had no response for weeks and weeks, and then I've had an email from his secretary saying he's not interested. So we're seeing those deaths. The other type of death that I'm seeing, which is more distressing for me personally, is people who are getting sick now as their immune systems finally give up. So they've had the jabs maybe six, eight months ago, and it's been eaten away at their immune system, and now they're struggling to fight off things like the common cold. So we're in winter, and as you'll be aware, there are colds and flus about at this time of the year. These people can't fight it off, and the government are very quick to label it Omnichron, a new variant. You know, and they are sick, but they're sick with basic things like the common cold. Their immune systems are decimated, and if you think about it logically, much like, for example, a cancer patient. So when you get a cancer patient and they're on chemotherapy, it decimates their immune system, and one of the things that they have to be extremely careful of is because they've got no immune system, a basic common cold or a flu can kill them. And this is what we're seeing now in these jab recipients across up and down the country. They're becoming extremely ill, really, really ill. For example, I've got a couple of friends, I've known them for a long time, very intelligent guy, logical thinker, him and his wife are both in jabs. He's had one, he's had both. He's bitterly desperate now, he's desperate to get the booster because he feels so terribly ill, he thinks that will make him feel better. You know, what do you say to these people because they just won't? I'll try to explain. This is what is killing you. This is killing you. It's damaging your immune system. All you've got is a common cold. And I said to him, look, I will come over, I'll bring you whatever you need. I will kiss you on the lips because I'm in no danger of falling sick because I have an immune system that's protecting me as a guy who hasn't been jabbed. These people, you know, it was well documented on the Georgia guide stones and other places what would happen. These people are going to willingly walk over the cliff begging for more. This is why, it's because these jabs are decimating your immune system. The other type are the blood clots that are quick killers and we've seen plenty of those as well. So please, please, please, don't take any more of these jabs. It's killing you. It's killing you. And lining up for more jabs when you're desperately ill already isn't the answer. It really isn't the answer. Take a step back. Just look a little bit deeper than the BBC and Google are telling you. The jabs are what are making you ill. The Omicron is vaccine injury. They're nothing more than that. Will you believe it? I really don't know. I really don't know. Time will tell, I guess. Time will tell. But that's where we are in December of 2021. We're exactly where the scientists told me we would be. Sadly. I just hope that people listen. I hope that people listen because if they don't, they're going to get sick and they're going to die. That's the reality. You will die if you keep taking these jabs. And you know, bless you, bless you. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Never a true word spoken.
    1 人回報1 則回應4 年前
  • 大家好。 早安。 你冷嗎? 不。 我看見你做這個。 雖然是70度。 這是我第一次在這裡。 我很緊張。 你緊張的時候,你去法庭? 對,這是我第一次。 這是你第一次在法庭? 對。 到現在,你還好嗎? 到現在。 對。 我覺得今天是夜店日, 法官 Quinn。 Janelle has four overnight parking tickets all at the same location. So, what do you want to tell me about these, Janelle? I just want to know if I'm able to pay in October because I start my job on October 5th and my card isn't registered, so I wasn't able to get the permit sticker yet because my card gets registered in November. What do you do for work? Are you working? No, not yet. I'm going to be working at St. Tanner's on October 5th. And what did you do? What was your last job? Walmart. You worked at Walmart? Yeah. You're in sales. Are you a good salesperson? Yeah. You're going to work at a bank now, huh? At St. Tanner? Yes. Yeah. You're going to be what? You're going to be chief operating officer? What are you going to do? I'm customer service, taking... See, she's a good person. All of a sudden, we're going to have to smile, Inspector Quinn. Smile a little more and give me the keys to the vault. Let's work on that one. All right. These overnight parking tickets, is this because you did not have a parking spot? Is that an area where you live? Yeah, it's very full, so I have to park outside on the streets. Do you have a parking spot now? No, once I get my card registered, I'm going to get the ticket for it. The fines are $200 now because they all tripled. I'm going to fine you $20. I'm going to fine you for one of these tickets. And I'm going to give you all the time you need to pay it. I mean, who do you live with? You live with your parents, you live alone, you live with... It's just me and my daughter. We rent a place. Your daughter? You have a young daughter? How old is she? Ten months. Ten months? It's just you and she? Yeah. Oh. What's her name? Camila. We can't let you pay $20 because then, I don't know, maybe when you go home tonight, you need some food for the baby and if you pay $20 here, maybe you won't be able to afford the food, so I'm not going to do that. We have to take the baby into consideration in respect to Camila. And right now, she's like between a rock and a hard place. She wants to buy the parking passes. She can't because the registry isn't accommodating those right now. Right? And she's looking to do that. And she doesn't have a job, but she's got a little baby. So, when I can't take care of a ten-month-old child, I know I can't do that. There are a whole bunch of things you can do. You have nothing. Nothing. Your story really touches me. You only have one child. I guess you have a lot of challenges being a single mom. What is the biggest challenge? Taking care of the baby the whole night. You're dedicated to the baby. There are a lot of generous people in this country. We are on social media, and we are on television, and people throughout the world see what happens in this courtroom. And they send in contributions voluntarily and ask me to give them to people, I think, to use them toward people who I think are worthy, and you certainly are. So, I have a gentleman actually from Eustis, Florida, by the name of Gary Ashcraft. He sent in $25 and said, please use this to help a single mom who's doing everything she can to help her children. That's you. So, I'm going to use that $25 to pay for your ticket. But I'm going to do a little bit more than that. I mean, since you came in broke today, there are an awful lot of people who send in some money here. So, I don't want you leaving here today and not having enough money to take care of your baby. So, I am going to, with the generosity of people from throughout the country who have sent in cash, I am going to give you $50 in cash for you to use to take care of your baby. Thank you. And you put that to good use. Thank you so much. Anything you want to say to the person who sent in that money? I'll always say thank you so much, and I really do appreciate it.
    4 人回報1 則回應4 年前
  • Okay, I'm just going to stand here and take this all in 40 years not letting go of this. So just quickly, thank you Hollywood Foreign Press for giving me this honor. It's been an amazing journey and incredible fight to be here today. But I think it's been worth it. I remember when I first came to Hollywood. It was a dream come true until I got here because look at this face. I came here and was told you're a minority and I'm like, no, that's not possible. And then someone said to me, you speak English. I mean, forget about them not knowing Korea, Japan, Malaysia, Asia, India. And then I said, yeah, the flight here was about 13 hours long. So I learned. As time went by, as I just turned, I turned 60 last year. And I think all of you women understand this as the days, the years and the numbers get bigger, it seems like opportunities start to get smaller as well. And I probably was at a time where I thought, well, hey, come on, girl, you had a really, really good run. You worked with some of the best people, Steven Spielberg, Jim Cameron and Danny Boyle. And so it's good. It's all good. Then along came the best gift, everything, everywhere. All at once. Shut up, please. I can beat you up, okay? And that's serious. And I thank you, A24, Leyline, for believing in these two goofy, insanely smart, wonderful geniuses, the Daniels, who had the courage, who had the courage to write about a very ordinary immigrant, aging woman, mother, daughter, who was the worst thing trying to do her audit. She was being audited by the IRS, played by the most amazing Jamie Lee Curtis. I love you. I was given this gift of playing this woman who resonated so deeply with me and with so many people, because at the end of the day, in whatever universe she was at, she was just fighting, fighting for love, for her family. And without Evelyn Wong was no one without Kee Kwe Kwan, Raymond Wong, and there was no joy in her life without Stephanie Hsu, the most amazing Stephanie Hsu, and my hard dog lover, Jamie Lee Curtis. To Jonathan Wong, my producer, thank you for being there with us every step of the way. My managers, David Unger and Kit Wong, who believed in me. And this is also for all the shoulders that I stand on, all who came before me, who looks like me, and all who are going on this journey with me forward. So thank you for believing in us. Thank you. Thank you so much.
    2 人回報1 則回應3 年前
  • Blue United Airlines on my way to Nebraska. The plane departed Halifax, connecting in Chicago's old pair. While on the ground the passengers said from the seat behind me, My God, they're throwing guitars out there. The band and I exchanged a look, best described as terror, At the action on the tarmac, and knowing whose projectiles these would be. So before I left Chicago, I alerted three employees, Who showed complete indifference towards me. United, United, you broke my Taylor guitar. United, United, some big help you are. You broke it, you should fix it, your ladle just admitted. I should have flown with someone else, or gone by car. Cause United breaks guitars. When we landed in Nebraska, I confirmed what I suspected. Mike Taylor'd been the victim of a vicious act of malice at old air. So began a year-long saga, but pass the buck, don't ask me. And I'm sorry sir, your claim can go nowhere. So do all the airlines people, from New York to New Delhi, Including Kind Miss Earlwig, who says the final word for them is no. I've heard all your excuses, and I've chased your wild gooses, And this attitude of yours, I say must go. United, United, you broke my Taylor guitar. United, United, some big help you are. You broke it, you should fix it, your ladle just admitted. I should have flown with someone else, or gone by car. Cause United breaks guitars. Well I won't say that, I'll never fly with you again. Cause maybe to save the world I'd probably look, but that won't likely happen. And if it did, I wouldn't bring my luggage. Cause you'd just go and break it into a thousand pieces. Just like you broke my heart, when United breaks guitars. United, United, you broke my Taylor guitar. United, United, some big help you are. You broke it, you should fix it, your ladle just admitted. I should have flown with someone else, or gone by car. Cause United breaks guitars. Yeah, United breaks guitars. Yeah, United breaks guitars. Yeah, United breaks guitars.
    2 人回報1 則回應3 年前
  • Oh, we like war. We like war. We're a war-like people. We like war because we're good at it. You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country's only 200 years old and already we've had 10 major wars. We average a major war every 20 years in this country, so we're good at it. And it's a good thing we are. We're not very good at anything else anymore. Can't build a decent car. Can't make a TV set or a VCR. What the fuck? Got no steel industry left. Can't educate our young people. Can't get health care to our old people. But we can bomb the shit out of your country, all right? We can bomb the shit out of your country, all right? Especially if your country is full of brown people. Oh, we like that, don't we? That's our hobby. That's our new job in the world, bombing brown people. Iraq, Panama, Grenada, Libya. You've got some brown people in your country. Tell them to watch the fuck out. Or we'll goddamn bomb them. But when's the last white people you can remember that we bombed? Can you remember the last white? Can you remember any white people we've ever bombed? The Germans. Those are the only ones. And that's only because they were trying to cut in on our action. They wanted to dominate the world. Bullshit. That's our fucking job. Think of how we started. Think of that. This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us all men are created equal. Oh yeah. All men. Except for Indians and niggers and women, right? Always like to use that authentic American language. This was a small group of unelected white male land-holding slave owners who also suggested their class be the only one allowed to vote. Now that is what's known as being stunningly and embarrassingly full of shit. I think Americans really show their ignorance when they say they want their politicians to be honest. What are these fucking cretins talking about? If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. No one would know what to do. Honesty would fuck this country up. And I think deep down Americans know that. That's why they elected and re-elected Bill Clinton. That's why. Because the American people like their bullshit right out front where they can get a good strong whiff of it. Clinton might be full of shit, but at least he lets you know it. Dole tried to hide it, didn't he? Dole kept saying, I'm a plain and honest man. Bullshit. People don't believe that. What did Clinton say? He said, hi folks, I'm completely full of shit, and how do you like that? And the people said, you know something, at least he's honest.
    1 人回報2 則回應4 年前
  • Exactly, exactly. And the story behind the Intelligence League is a very simple one. After COVID ended up spreading around the United States and producing a gigantic domestic disaster, obviously, our intelligence services wanted to prove that they were not responsible for what happened, that they had provided the information to the top American leadership, which was just ignored. In other words, they wanted to get away from being blamed for the disaster. Therefore, four separate intelligence sources confirmed to ABC News that the secret report had been provided to the White House and our top leadership in November describing a potentially cataclysmic disease outbreak taking place in the city of Wuhan, China. The problem with it, the problem they ran into is then when somebody checked the timeline, they realized in November, there was no cataclysmic disease outbreak in Wuhan. At that point, according to all the available knowledge and retrospective evidence, probably a dozen or maybe 20 people were starting to feel a little bit sick in a city of 11 million. There was no way for any outside observer to possibly be aware of the disease outbreak at that point. In fact, the Chinese government itself only became aware of the outbreak at the end of December, six or seven weeks later. So naturally, the Pentagon immediately denied the existence of that report, said, you know, we don't care, four intelligence sources said that they produced the report, it never existed. However, a week later, Israeli television confirmed the existence of a report saying that report had been sent to Israel, it had been sent to all of our NATO allies in November, and it had been produced in the second week of November. Again, the second week of November was long before anybody in the world could have possibly been aware of the disease outbreak in Wuhan, except for the people responsible. It's fairly close to a smoking gun. It looks that way to me too. It's interesting, was it Esper they asked about this and he said, he said, I don't recall. Exactly. I mean, at that point, you know, again, it was an embarrassment that the report had been provided to these people and ignored until people realized that the dates proved that it was for knowledge of the outbreak in Wuhan. So in other words, it's one thing to have an embarrassment of the fact that the government ignored a report like that. It's another thing when the report proves who was responsible for the disease outbreak. And I mean, America, over the decades, America has spent $100 billion developing its bio warfare technology. America brought the Trump administration brought in Robert Cadillac, America's leading bio warfare expert in 2017. And in 2018, there was suddenly a mysterious viral epidemic that devastated China's poultry industry. In 2019, China's pig herds were annihilated. And then in late 2019, suddenly, the COVID epidemic brought up, which really raises all sorts of incredibly dark suspicions of what really happened. Do you think Trump's telling the truth that he wasn't in the loop? I definitely I don't doubt that the report might have been sent to Trump's desk. But I get the sense that Trump doesn't actually read a lot. And you have all these stories of, for example, Trump's senior officials hiding his own executive orders. He forgets about them. He would forget about them. And we were talking about administration that really was operating in a very strange way with the top figures in the administration running circles around the president ignoring the president. And I fully believe that Trump had absolutely no idea when COVID leaked back to the United States that it was an American bio warfare, bio warfare weapon that was coming to us. And that's the reason they ignored it. That's the reason his response was so lackadaisical. The perpetrators who actually were in the loop have somehow raised the alarm in such a way that the US could protect itself. Well, they did to some extent. I mean, for example, Robert Cadillac, again, our top bio warfare expert, from January to August 2019, Cadillac and his department ran something called the Crimson Contagion Exercise, in which federal and state officials in the United States planned out how they would ensure that if a mysterious virus, viral epidemic, mysterious respiratory virus suddenly appeared in China, that they would prevent it from devastating America and leaking back into China. Eight months they did it, and the virus of exactly that type suddenly appeared in China a couple of months after the end of that exercise. Now, as it turned out, the training obviously was insufficient. That's the understatement. It shows that the people involved in launching the attack against China.
    2 人回報1 則回應3 年前
  • 不要以為官大、學問大? 下面是漂亮國的政客嘴臉! Tales of Washington DC Airport ticket agent 一名華府機場票務員的傳奇 A DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the US is in so much trouble! I love this as the ticket agent actually names real names! 一名華府機場的票務員提供了一些為什麼美國現在有那麼多麻煩的例子。對於票務員能指名道姓,我愛死了! 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!) 新罕不什爾州的女眾議員波特要求要坐靠走道的位子,這樣她的頭髮才不會因為坐在窗邊而被吹亂(這是搭飛機耶!) 2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to CapeTown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.” Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in South Africa .'' 堪薩斯眾議員莫爾的幕僚鮑雷克要飛往開普頓,我跟他解釋飛行時間和護照的資訊。他打斷了我說「我不是想讓你聽上去笨笨的,開普頓是在麻薩諸塞州耶。」在不顯得是他很笨的情況下,我平靜的解釋說「鱈魚角在麻州,開普頓在南非。」 His response -- click.. 他的反應是~~喀哩,掛斷了電話。 3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. 資深的維蒙州眾議員桑德斯打電話來,憤怒的問我們所辦理的他去佛羅里達渡假的事情。我問他他在奧蘭多的假期有什麼問題嗎?他說他要求的是一間能看到大海的房間。我解釋說奧蘭多位於佛羅里達州的中間,是不可能看到大海的。 He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG ) 他回答「別撒謊!我看了地圖了,佛羅里達是一個很狹長的州!」(我的天!) 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?'' 眾議員雷得的太太打電話來問「可能不可能從加拿大看到英國?」 I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!) 我說「不可能」。 她說「但是地圖上很近啊!」(再一次,我的天哪!) 5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' 一位內閣閣員拿波里他諾的幕僚打電話來問他能不能在達拉斯租一輛車?我查了一下他的訂位,發現他在達拉斯只轉機停留一個小時,於是問他為什麼要租輛車?他說「我聽說達拉斯機場很大,所以我要租輛車趕去下一個機門以節省時間。」 (Aghhhh) (啊......) 6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m, and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. 伊利諾州女眾議員上個禮拜打來電話,她要知道怎麼可能她上午八點半飛離底特律,八點三十三分就抵達芝加哥了? I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that. 我跟她解釋說密西根州比伊利諾州早一個小時,但她就是不懂「時區」是什麼。最後我告訴她飛機飛得很快,這一下她滿意了。 7. A NewYork lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' 紐約州議員納得勒打電話來問「航空公司把旅客的外型描述貼在行李上,好識別哪件行李是哪一個乘客的?」 I said, 'No, why do you ask?' 我說「不會呀,為什麼問這個問題?」 He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'' 他說「當我到機場櫃台報到的時候,他們在我的行李上貼了一張『肥』FAT,而我確實過重,我認為這太不禮貌了。」 After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.. 我讓他稍等一會兒,我查一下。(我快笑死了!)回頭我跟他解釋說加州佛雷斯諾機場的代碼就是FAT(肥),而航空公司貼在他行李上的是他的目的地的標籤。 8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . 參議員凱利的幕僚詢問去夏威夷旅行的行程。 After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?'' 到說到價錢的時候,她問「飛到加州,然後搭火車去夏威夷,會不會比較便宜?」 (夏威夷在海上,搭火車?) 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?'' 我剛剛放下一個選自阿拉斯加州的國會新進眾議員布萊特,他問「我怎麼知道我該搭上哪班飛機?」 I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.'' 我問他說的是什麼意思?他說「我的航班號碼是823,但是沒有任何一架飛機上噴有823號。」 10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane. 眾院議長范恩斯坦打電話問「我要飛到佛羅里達州的『百事可樂』市去,是不是要搭那些小小的飛機?」我問她是否要問飛往佛羅里達『潘西可拉』市,而且是搭往來上下班的飛機? She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!'' 她回答「對啦,不管你怎麼說啦,你個自作聰明的傢伙。」 11. Mary Landrieu, La Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. 洛杉磯參議員藍度問一個她要飛往中國大陸需要什麼文件的問題。 After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 講了很久之後,我提醒她她要簽證(visa)。 "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those'' 她說「喔,不需要,我去過中國大陸很多次,從來不需要。」 I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. 我再次查證後告訴她,她真的需要簽證。 When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!'' 她說「我去過中國大陸四次,他們那裡收我的『美國運通卡』!」(註:英文的簽證和維沙信用卡是同一個字) 12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, 'I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, NewYork.'' 紐澤西州眾議員艾德勒要訂機位,「我要從芝加哥到紐約州的『犀牛城』!」 I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?” 我一下子不知所措,最後我問「你確定那個地點的名字是這個?」 "Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man. 「對啦,你們有什麼班機?」 After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere." 搜索了一會兒後,我回答他「對不起,我查了所有的機場代碼,沒有『犀牛城』的代碼。」 ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!'' 他憤怒的反駁「少笨了!大家都知道這個都市在哪裡,查一下你的地圖!」 So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?'' 我趕緊在紐約州的地圖上找,最後試著問他「你說的是不是『水牛城』?」 The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'' 他的答案?「反正就是一個很大的動物的名字啦!」 Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in! 現在大家知道為什麼我們的政府是這個德性了! Could ANYONE be this DUMB? 有沒有人像他們這麼笨? YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED. 有!這些人就在我們之中,還就在政治圈裡,而且他們還繼續的繁衍!
    4 人回報1 則回應3 年前
  • CNN 對台積電董事長劉德音的專訪翻譯逐字稿 On GPS: Can China afford to attack Taiwan? Fareed Zakaria, GPS In a rare interview with Mark Liu, chairman of Taiwan's TSMC — Asia's most valuable company — Fareed asks about the ongoing tension between the self-governing island and Beijing. Source: CNN Fareed Zakaria: 如果中國攻打台灣,那會如何影響台灣,以及台灣的經濟? What would happen to Taiwan, and to the Taiwanese economy, if China were to invade? 劉德音: 噢,當然,戰場上沒有贏家;所有人都是輸家。台灣人已在台灣建立起自己的民主系統,然後他們想過自己的生活。雖然半導體產業對台灣整體經濟來說十分重要,但如果真的發生戰爭的話,那或許半導體業不是最需要我們擔心的事。我們真正需要擔心的是這場戰爭將會摧毀以具有穩定秩序的世界經貿活動(the destruction of the world rule-based order);整個地理政治將會有劇烈的變化。 Oh, of course, the war brings no winners. Everybody is losers. And people in Taiwan has earned their democratic system in Taiwan, and they want to choose their way of life. And we think that indeed the chip supply is a critical business and economy in Taiwan, but had it -- had it been a War in Taiwan, probably the chip is not the most important thing we should worry about because this invasion, if it comes after, is the destruction of the world rule-based order. There is no -- the geopolitical landscape would totally change. Fareed Zakaria: 你會擔心台灣目前在中國半導體供應鏈上所扮演的核心角色嗎? 這會對台灣造成甚麼危險嗎? 還是說其實有戰略上的嚇阻效果? 畢竟有時大家會說台積電是台灣的護國神山。不過即便如此,我們還是知道中國一直都強調「我們對台灣有絕對的主權,而且這是我們不可退讓的中國資產」。 Do you worry that Taiwan is now so integral to the Chinese supply chain at the high end?.. Does that create a danger for Taiwan? Or is it a deterrent? People sometimes talk about the TSMC shield, but you could equally see Beijing saying we need to have total control of this. This is the most valuable asset and it's outside our borders. 劉德音: 嗯,沒有國家能夠用武力控制台積電的,因為如果中國解放軍真的入侵台積電,台積電就完全不能運作了,因為這是一個十分複雜的龐大組織。台積電從原料、化學物質、設備零件、工程軟體與檢測等各面向都隨時都需要跟外面的世界,歐洲、日本、美國相互溝通合作。是在世界上的所有人的努力才能讓這間公司,台積電,能夠正常運作。所以假如你用武力侵占了台積電,那台積電就不可能正常運作了,也就沒有所謂的台積電了。至於我們與中國的生意,目前中國大概占了我們 10% 的生意吧,但我們只會跟一般企業與消費者做生意,我們不會將晶片賣給軍事組織。我們覺得說,消費市場是很重要的,而且是生生不息的。如果消費者有需求,那我想,跟他們做生意並不是甚麼壞事。 Ok. Nobody can control TSMC by force. If you take a military force or invasion, you will render TSMC factory not operable because this is such a sophisticated manufacturing facility. It depends on the real-time connection with the outside world, with Europe, with Japan, with the US, from materials, to chemicals, to spare parts, to engineering software, diagnosis. It's everybody's effort to make this factory operable. So if you take it over by force, you can no longer make it operable. In terms of the China business, its today composed about 10% of our business. We only work with consumer. We don't work with militaries entity. We think that is, the consumer pool, is important, and it is vibrant. And if they need us, it's not a bad thing. Fareed Zakaria: 解釋一下,為什麼這(台積電跟中國做生意)不是壞事? Expand on that. Why is it not a bad thing? 劉德音: 噢,這是因為我們停止運作後將會為中國帶來巨大的經濟損失,因為他們最先進的半導體晶片突然就這樣消失了,所以他們在做這種"武力犯台"之前,我想必定會三思而後行的。 你看烏克蘭戰爭,我想我們都得從中好好反省與汲取些經驗。人們認為烏克蘭跟台灣非常像,但我得說台灣跟烏克蘭非常不一樣。想想烏俄戰爭對各國帶來的種種負面影響,對任何國家來說都不是好事。從西方世界、俄羅斯與烏克蘭的角度來看,都是輸家,沒有人從中獲得好處。我真的認為大家都應該要好好反省這場戰爭究竟為我們人類帶來了甚麼,想想我們應該要如何避免戰爭,想想我們該如何確保全球經濟的穩定,如何讓全球經濟能持續生生不息,而且也讓我們以公平的方式相互競爭,這是我的想法。 Oh, because our interruption will create great economic turmoil in either side in China because suddenly their most advanced components supply disappeared. And -- and it is an interruption, I must say. So people will think twice on this. I think the Ukraine war, I think we should draw lessons from it. People think Ukraine will make connected with the Taiwan Strait. They are very different. But in case you think about imperil, Ukraine war is not good for any of the sides. From the Western world, from Russia, from Ukraine, it's lose, lose, lose scenarios. All three sides ought to draw lessons. I think they do. And we should use that lessons to look at the lens on Taiwan. How can we avoid a war? How can we ensure no -- the world economy -- the engine of the world economy continue humming and let's have a fair competition. That's what I think. Fareed Zakaria: 就你看來,你會怎麼解釋台灣的經濟奇蹟? 在過去五十年裡,台灣經濟成功達到每年有 5% 的經濟成長。世上很少能夠有著像台灣經濟成長幅度這樣的國家,你怎麼看呢? From your perspective, what explains the Taiwan miracle? This is now a place that has grown at 5% a year for five decades. There are very few places in the world that have managed that. What explains the Taiwan miracle? 劉德音: 從外人的角度來看,會覺得這是一個奇蹟。但對認真工作的台灣人來說,這只是奮鬥的過程。老實說我覺得,相較於其他國家,尤其是在亞洲,我覺得台灣其中一個特點在於它那和平的社會。從 1949 年到現在,台灣一直都是相當和平的。這是個和平的地方。而在這期間,台灣從威權主義社會轉型成民主國家,變成一個民主社會。而如果你從整個世界的角度來看這點,如此這般和平的社會轉型是相當神奇的事情,我們是非常幸運的。而如果真要說奇蹟,我想台灣的確還有一點是相當與眾不同的,那就是我們的教育制度。 在我還小的時候,只有 10% 的人上大學。如今有 80% 的年輕人擁有大學文憑。我們政府設立了非常多間大學,所以對於所有年輕人來說,如果你想讀大學,那一定可以讀,只要你願意花時間,所以這建立了一個相對高品質的社會環境,以面對未來可能的種種挑戰,這是我覺得非常非常特別的一點。 Looking from outside, it appears to be a miracle. For the people working hard on the island, it is just a history of fighting. I think, to be honest, compared with other nations, particularly in Asia, I think one of the key components in Taiwan is a peaceful society. It maintained peace since 1949 till today, 70 years. It's a peaceful island. And during that period of time, Taiwan has transformed from authoritarian state into a democratic state, became a democratic society. This is marvelous because if you look at the nations around the world, having such a smooth transition, peaceful transition, we are fortunate, to be honest. But if you talk about the miracles, I also think there's one thing that is very distinctly different, is the education system. When I was young, only 10% of the young people entered college or universities. Today, 80% of the young people have college or university degrees. The government set up many colleges, universities. And every kid, if you want to go to university, you can go, and just so long as you spend time. So that has created a relatively good quality of population in Taiwan, posing for any change ahead. That's why I think that's very, very special. Fareed Zakaria: 為什麼其他人都很難做出你做的晶片呢? 我現在在想的是你們的七奈米,美國有非常多擁有輝煌歷史的偉大公司,像是 Intel。而中國則是撒了數十億的資金去開設晶圓廠,但都沒有人能做出你們的晶片。 Why is it so difficult for anyone to make the chips that you make? And I'm thinking now about the 7 nanometer. The Americans have these great companies that have huge history, like Intel. The Chinese pour tens of billions of dollars into new companies. But no one can make the chips you make. 劉德音: 嗯,可以啊,只是晚幾年而已,就...哈哈哈哈... Well, they can, just a few years later. It's ... hahaha ... Fareed Zakaria: 但這就是重點啊... But that's all the difference in this business. 劉德音: 沒錯,這是唯一的關鍵。我想我們是把半導體技術本身看做是一門科學,但也是一門生意。這不是組裝零件那樣而已。當然,這一切都得歸功於我們與其他夥伴的合作。我們的工程師甚至因為 COVID 而戴上 AR (擴充虛擬實境) 跟遠在荷蘭以及加州的工程師合作,我們就是這麼密切的合作,共同推進最先進的半導體技術。我只能說這麼多了,沒辦法跟你透漏與解釋所有細節。 You're right. That's all the difference. I think we treat the semiconductor technology itself as a business, as a science. It's not assembly workers. And, of course, I credit this to be working with our partners. Even the COVID time, our engineer used the AR, augmented reality, lenses to work with engineer in Netherland, work with engineer in California. And that's how close we work together. And together, we push the frontier of the semiconductor technologies. I cannot tell you everything why. Fareed Zakaria: 哦當然你不可能跟我說可口可樂的配方的...哈哈...。好,最後一個問題,在技術與經濟層面上,你會怎麼看待未來? 你的願景是甚麼? You're not going to tell me the secret formula of coca cola. Finally, tell me what you think will look like in the future, technologically, economically. What are your hopes? 劉德音: 我希望我們不會因為很接近中國而被歧視(discriminated)。不論我們跟中國的關係是甚麼,台灣就是台灣。你得把台灣視為一個整體,視為一個充滿活力與衝勁的社會。我們希望能為世界帶來創新,並持續不斷地推進未來,而不會因為我們跟中國有些紛爭而害怕我們。這實在是不值得。 I hope that we don't get discriminated because we are close to China. No matter your relationship with China, Taiwan is Taiwan. You have to look at Taiwan as, by itself, a vibrant society. We want to unleash the innovation for the world, into the future, continuously, and not to be scared because we have some dispute with our neighbors. And that is not worth it. Fareed Zakaria: 這你這樣好像是在跟世界說 ── 如果我理解錯誤請糾正我 ── 不要害怕中國說的那些話。因為中國永遠不可能接手台灣。台灣經濟是建立於全球合作,建立於信任與公開透明之上。如果他們侵入台灣,他們會發現實際上他們甚麼也沒拿到。 But it seems to me you're saying to the world -- correct me if I'm wrong -- you're saying to the world, don't be scared by what China is saying because the Chinese will never be able to take. The Taiwanese economy is built on this global collaboration, -- on trust, on openness, on -- they'll find they've taken over nothing, if they come in. 劉德音: 正確,沒錯,我的確是這麼想的,所以我們大家只會為彼此帶來災難,每一方都是如此。雖然我們得做最壞打壞,但還是盡量往最好的方向看齊。 Correct, yes, I do believe so. So the world can only create problem on three sides, all three sides. And that is -- we need to prepare the worst, but we should hope for the best. Fareed Zakaria: 你剛有提到烏克蘭戰爭是 lose-lose-lose,所以你希望可以 win-win-win。 So you said about the Ukraine war, it's lose-lose-lose. Your hope is for a win-win-win. 劉德音: 對,如果真的開戰了,那就會變成這樣。如果一切和平,那麼就只跟我們三方的競爭策略有關,我想在商場上沒有人會想要發生戰爭,所以我們又為什麼要再跳進這個陷阱(戰爭)裡呢? Yes, if you have a war, then it will be that. If this is peaceful, well, it's upon the competition strategies on all three sides. And I think that nobody in the business world want to see a war happen. And why do we jump again into another trap? Fareed Zakaria: 感謝你寶貴的時間。 Thank you for taking so much time 劉德音: 很高興能參與訪談。 We enjoy talking to you. (zero game 2)(sun over mountain)(praying)
    7 人回報1 則回應4 年前